We All Want to Feel Needed…


Article by 

Paul Koury

There’s an old joke that goes like this. “Why do men die before women?” Answer:

“Because they want to” Hahaha.

Whilst that may have made you chuckle, the truth is that women do outlive men by 8% on average. As an old friend of mine, Professor Sumner-Miller, used to say, “Why is it so?”

There are many opinions floating around out there as to why that is, from biological to genetic. But I say it’s more likely to be spiritual. They just give up the will to live.

Why are men more so than women?

When you think about it, a man spends most of his life working with the purpose of providing for his family. When a man stops working, they can find themselves without a purpose and are often lost. When men lose a reason and purpose, they can also lose their will to live.


On the other hand, women spend most of their life nurturing people, whether their partner, children, family, extended family or building community relationships. No matter what age, a woman never loses the ability to care for and foster relationships, health permitting.

A final thought

We all need a reason to get up in the morning and a purpose to contribute something to someone in some way.  So, remain conscious of giving ageing men something valuable to do and worthwhile to contribute to, and when doing so, watch their faces light up, even if it is just to hold the darn while you knit.

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  1. I was nursing in a surgical ward, as a young man as a nurse.
    one man was in their late seventies or early 80s and looked much younger he was there for a surgical .procedure. However, he was extremely anxious as to how long his recovery.
    I said to him you look much younger than you are but why are you so anxious you are retired.
    His reply was, “I run a business and I am due to another county as I am running an exhibit at a large trade show for my company and I must be there”.
    This is why I am running a Care business myself at 67 years of age, still in business and enjoying it.

  2. I am 90 years of age, had a business until 66 years old then (retired ) rebuilt the patio,carport, caravan garage etc then last Xmas new year period i fell over and injered my right arm and shoulder (being right handed ) so now I am bored stiff. I recently lost a brother in law and also a friend to the don’t want to live syndrome. The friend only taking 3 weeks.

  3. I am 49, alone, I care for my 20 year old son, I cared for my Mum who died last year.
    I have physical health issues that challenge my ability to work. It’s very depressing and monotonous.
    Well done to the men still working.
    Congratulations on your success.

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