What To Do When A Loved One Dies

A practical guide for family and friends when a loved one dies: navigating the loss of a loved one

THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE can be one of the most heartbreaking and challenging experiences anyone can go through. It brings an overwhelming mix of emotions, and a to-do list that can feel insurmountable at the time. Navigating this period requires both emotional resilience and practical actions, and it’s important to not only look after yourself, but to ask for help from those around you if you feel overwhelmed. Whilst few things other than time can heal, delegating tasks to those closest to you can help ease the mental load that comes in the wake of a loved one’s death. From arranging funerals, to other necessary administrative tasks and responsibilities, we have compiled a comprehensive guide on what to do when a loved one passes away. It addresses important “first- steps” including practical, logistical and emotional matters.

IMMEDIATE STEPS

Notify Authorities and Close Family

When a loved one dies, the first step is to notify the appropriate authorities. If the death occurs at home and was unexpected, call triple zero (000). They will guide you through the necessary steps and send a medical professional to declare the death. If the death happens in a hospital or care facility, the staff will handle this for you.

Next, inform close family members and friends. This can be emotionally taxing, so consider enlisting the help of others to share the responsibility. It’s essential to have support when a loved one dies.

Look After Yourself

In the immediate aftermath when a loved one dies, it’s crucial to take care of your physical and emotional well- being. Grief can manifest in various ways, including shock, numbness, and intense sadness. Allow yourself to feel these emotions, and don’t hesitate to reach out for support from friends, family, or professionals.

HANDLING LOGISTICS

Obtain a Death Certificate

When a loved one dies one of the first logistical steps when a loved one dies is obtaining a death certificate. This document is essential for handling the deceased’s affairs, such as closing accounts, claiming insurance, and arranging the funeral. Typically, the funeral director or hospital will help you get this certificate. You will need multiple copies, so request at least 10 to 15.

Plan the Funeral or Memorial Service

Planning a funeral or memorial service is a significant task that involves many decisions. Consider the following steps:

Determine the Wishes of Your Loved One: Check if your loved one left any instructions regarding their funeral or memorial service. This might be in a will or a separate document.

Choose a Funeral Home: Select a funeral home to assist with the arrangements. They can help with many aspects, including the obituary, service planning, and burial or cremation.

Decide on Burial or Cremation: Depending on the wishes or religious beliefs of your loved one, when a loved one dies choose between burial or cremation. This decision will guide many other aspects of the funeral planning.

Plan the Service: Decide on the type of service, including location, date, time, and who will officiate. Consider the content of the service, such as readings, music, and eulogies.

Notify Others: When a loved one dies, use the appropriate channels to inform people about the funeral or memorial service, including social media, local newspapers, and personal calls.

Manage the Deceased’s Affairs

Settling the deceased’s affairs involves numerous administrative tasks. Here are some critical steps:

• Locate Important Documents: Find the will, insurance policies, financial documents, and any other pertinent papers.

• Contact a Solicitor: If your loved one had a will, contact the person who drafted it. If there is no
will, you might need to hire a probate attorney to assist with the estate.

• Secure Property: Ensure the home and possessions of your loved one are secure. This might involve changing locks or arranging for someone to check the property, regularly.

• Notify Financial Institutions: Inform banks, credit card companies, and other financial institutions of the death. Close accounts and cancel subscriptions or memberships. You will likely need a death certificate to do this.

• Handle Insurance and Benefits: If applicable, contact life insurance companies to file claims.

EMOTIONAL AND LONG-TERM SUPPORT

Seek Grief Counselling: Grieving is a deeply personal process that varies for everyone. Some may find solace in talking to friends and family, while others might benefit from professional grief counselling. Therapists specialising in grief can provide strategies to cope with loss and help navigate complex emotions.

Join Support Groups: When a loved one dies, support groups offer a space to connect with others who have experienced similar losses. Sharing your story and hearing others can provide comfort and a sense of community. Many hospitals, community centres, and religious organisations offer grief support groups.

Create a Memory Space: Creating a memory space or ritual can be a healing way to honour your loved one. This might involve setting up a dedicated area in your home with photos and mementos, planting a tree in their memory, or establishing a charitable fund in their name. Enlist the help of friends and family to mark the occasion of your loved one’s birthday, or any date that might hold significance.

Take Care of Your Physical Health: Grief can take a toll on your physical health. Ensure you
are eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in regular physical activity. Avoid excessive use of alcohol as a coping mechanism. Consider seeing a healthcare professional if you are struggling to maintain your physical health.

MOVING FORWARD

Allow Yourself Time: Grieving is not a linear process, and there is no set timeline for when you should feel better. Allow yourself the time and space to grieve. Be patient with yourself and recognise that it’s okay to have good days and bad days.

Rediscover Joy and Purpose: Finding joy and purpose when a loved one dies can feel challenging but is an essential part of healing. Engage in activities you enjoy, pursue new interests, or volunteer. These activities can provide a sense of fulfilment and help you move forward.

Remember and Celebrate

When a loved one dies, keep the memory of your loved one alive by celebrating their life. Mark anniversaries, birthdays, and other significant dates with rituals or gatherings. Share stories and memories with others who knew them. Keeping their memory alive in positive ways can provide comfort and connection.

The death of a loved one is an inevitable part of life that brings profound sorrow and significant challenges. While the immediate aftermath when a loved one dies requires practical steps to handle logistics, it’s equally important to address your emotional well-being. Surround yourself with a support network, seek professional help if needed, and give yourself the grace and time to grieve.

In the long term, finding ways to honour and remember your loved one while rediscovering joy
and purpose can help you navigate the path of grief. It’s a journey that will change over time, but with the right support and sufficient self- care, you can find a way to move forward.